The Yoohoo Hell Realm :-)

Physical exercise can play an important part on the pathway to enlightenment. In addition to the definite health benefits of exercise on a purely physical level, physical exercise plays an important role in cleansing the aura. I've never been especially athletically inclined, but I did have one empowering experience with exercise on the path to enlightenment.

I was working on Wall Street and was frankly surrounded by a lot of hard-working, hard-drinking, high-fat-diet types. A number of people from work decided to get involved in a one mile challenge race for the purpose of helping train everyone to get in better shape. I volunteered to run in the race. But there was one big catch: the last place finisher in this race would be required to drink three quarts of Yoohoo (the overly sweet chocolate flavored drink). The second-to-last place finisher would need to drink two quarts of Yoohoo. The losers would be exempted from finishing this Yoohoo only if they vomited within half an hour.

This requirement was of course designed to encourage people to take their training seriously. No one wanted to endure the pain and the sheer embarrassment of throwing up three quarts of Yoohoo. I wish I could say that I trained really hard and won the race. I put some effort into training, but like I said, athletics have never come really naturally to me, and so I could definitely have trained harder. I began to think that the only way out of this requirement was to get another job and sneak away from the firm before the race. So I put all my effort into finding another job, and successfully landed a great new position in the artificial intelligence field.

There was only one catch, though: my resignation was effective exactly one week after the scheduled race date. I was going to have to run in this race after all. For an occultist, it is all the worse, because every one who would potentially watch the Yoohoo event would forever and ever carry that image of me in their mind and focus on me in that humiliating way if I was forced to drink the Yoohoo.

So on race date, it was with great fear that I approached the track. And as the race began, it seemed my worst fears were confirmed: I was running a solid seventh out of eight competitors. I was going to have to drink, if not three, then at least two quarts of Yoohoo. Then about three quarters of the way through the race, I thought of my teacher Rama, and suddenly felt surrounded by a field of golden light. All of a sudden I had a lot more energy! I was then easily able to overtake the person ahead of me and finish a solid sixth. I didn't care at all that five runners finished ahead of me...all that mattered was that I wouldn't have to drink the dreaded Yoohoo.

Now it would have been better if I'd trained harder and could have finished closer to the front of the pack. And yet, I'll always feel that it was Rama's empowerment that allowed me finish in the position I did and leave that firm with my head held high. Thanks Rama!

And not only did I avoid the Yoohoo, but I got a 30% pay raise when I switched jobs a week later!